Holding a half empty bottle of gin in her hand, Ms. O'Leary was led to the stage by her Chief Advisor Guido. She had this to say "Over Christmas I read a book and that book was so brutal, I didn't stop drinking until I finished it. I didn't sleep either, the damn thing kept me up nights. It's got monsters and shit in it. Why this book is so brutal it's feckin' metal I tell ya. Roll tape Guido."
My journey with this book, The Missing Link, began on Christmas Eve. That night, after Hubby and the kids had gone to bed, I began to get a bad feeling. Something wasn't right. It was as if an eye were watching me. "Dammit, there must be something I'm supposed to do, but haven't done yet. Something I promised to do......" Well, I opened a bottle of scotch and drank until the feeling went away. Then went to bed.
I fell right to sleep right away, but was assaulted by the most horrific dream.
My village was being invaded by a feckin' book. And that book was written by Americans. Nobody from Ireland had a damn think to do with that book and here it was on our shores, threatening out children. I knew I had to act fast. I had to read that book.
I told my Hubby to feck off, I wouldn't be joining him for Christmas as I had a book to read. So I locked myself in my office, opened up the laptap and went to my Kindle books app. I opened the file that said The Missing Link began to read. Five pages in and that book grabbed me by the throat and wouldn't let go. "The feckin' internet is dead. And it looks like the world has lost it's mind. Some woman just drove through a window because her GPS gave her wrong directions. Haha. Damn I hope that cop Mickey shoots her. Stupid bitch."
And it looked like the death of the internet was caused by goblins. "Haha, there's Brent, the IT guy running after a feckin' goblin. Jesus Christ, there's a goblin running loose and none of these people seem to notice it, except Brent. The rest of them are too busy worrying about their mobile's and laptops to see it. Bloody hell what's the matter with these people. Are they all Americans?"
"Haha, Chicago is burning. Well at least this time it wasn't my family's fault. The people have taken to the street and begun looting, wrecking their cars and crying "I've got no bars, Iv'e got no bars" Eejits, serves .'em right." I opened a bottle of wine and continued reading. "Bloody hell, the boys have written a band of homeless people into this story. Oooh and I like that Wingnut Sally. She's crazy, but she's smart. And there's even a monk in the crew and dammit they've put a Brit in there. Well he's homeless so I guess that's okay."
Reading is thirsty work, so I opened a bottle of tequila and had a bite to eat. "I wonder what happened to Molly, Brent's girlfriend. Last time I saw her, she fell head first into a hamper and found herself on the road to Rankinspire with those two feckless bastards Twiddledee and Twiddledum." That's a strange world I'm tellin' ya. Full of trolls that play with themselves and hobbitts that ask to see yer tits and there's some hippy dudes that are stoned out of their minds wandering around with clipboards taking surveys. After polishing off the turkey and the tequila, I opened a bottle of gin and started reading again.
I could see that Molly had found the Red Queen. But where was the Cheshire Pimp at? I love that dude, he's so much more metal than that feckin' Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland. And he's got a taste for the ladies. "Oh fer fuck sakes," I yelled. "He's gone and pissed off Queenie and she's gonna take his head off." This story seemed familiar to me. There's something about a queen with a guillotine that makes a Catholic flinch.
Well I finished the rest of that book in one straight read. It was so good I couldn't put it down. Although I was terribly drunk, I felt innervated, alive in some way, I thought to myself "Now's the time to do something so irrational that you'll regret it later." Yes folks, it was tattoo time.
I decided to get the girls tattoed. When I told Hubby I was going to get me tits done, I don't think this is what he had in mind. Although he has come to favor Brandon a bit over the last few days.
I'm sure you've all noticed, and can't wait to tell me, that I spelled Bryans name wrong in the video. Sorry Brian, I mean Bryan, I told you I was drunk
Now I'm going to tell you straight up, everything I said about the storyline in this comic is true. That's what's in the book and it's a damn good read too. You may notice that the cartoon panels are a little "busy". I've placed items that represent characters or events from the story in each panel for Brent and Brandon to find. I hope they can do it. Anyone whose read the book can do it too.
Right now, the book is free. You can get it from Amazon and download it to your Kindle, your PC, your laptop or your mobile device. The Kindle reader ap is free from Amazon as well.
The boys aren't interested in making money with this book. They want what each and every one of us here on Blogger wants when we push that publish button every day. They want to be read.